A friend (non-knitter) sent this to me and I thought it was funny…..
A recent study indicated that yarn gives off certain pheromones that
hypnotize women and cause them to purchase unreasonable amounts.
When stored in large quantities in enclosed spaces, the pheromones
(in the yarn) cause memory loss and induce the nesting syndrome
(similar to the one squirrels have before the onset of winter i.e.
storing food).
Sound tests have also revealed that these yarns emit a very high-
pitched sound, heard only by a select few, a breed of women known as
“knitters”. When played backwards on an LP, the sounds are heard as
chants, buy me, knit me, and wind me into a ball “.
In order to overcome the so called “feeding frenzy effect” that these
yarns cause, one must wear a face mask when entering a storage
facility and use ear plugs to avoid being pulled into their grip.
Studies have also indicated that aliens have inhabited the earth,
helping to spread the effects that these yarns have on the human
population. They are called “YARN STORE CLERKS”.
It’s also been experienced that these same pheromones cause a
pathological need to hide these yarn purchases when taken home (or
at least blend them into the existing stash), and when asked by
significant other if the yarn is new, the reply is “I’ve had it for
a while.”
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